Hi everyone,

How are you all doing? A few health issues here but doing ok, I have realised this blogging is much harder than it looks, still getting use to talking to myself. Not sure if blogging is for me we will soon see over the next few months. It has been a very bad month I have been sticking to my healthy eating plan and have had no weight loss.  I have also had to shake my self out of the doldrums and tell my self "to get up, dress up, and turn up' a few times last month. Finances were in the pressure cooker again that all ways makes everything harder but my darling husband is pulling us out again as he always does with hard work, neither of us are good with budgets.

 I did get rid of a few excess baggage emotionally this month though even if not physically.  I am now enjoying my own company a lot more, and have learned to appreciate my life and who I am it's amazing after all these years of worrying about everyone else and doing for everyone else to finally realise I am the most important person in my life. The thing about all this is I am much better company for my partner family and friends when I am not so dependant on them for my happiness, but have learned to be happy for me and enjoy who I am in this life, its like a sort of discovering how wonderful I am and doing things that I want to do.


I am not putting other before myself anymore.  I don't mean I have suddenly stopped caring its more like " The lack of planning on your part does not make it an emergency on my part". You know if we all looked after ourselves I,m sure we would be better people, it's not being selfish it's being sensible and then those around you that love you will not have anybody to worry about and we can all start enjoying each others happiness and lives, without each others excess baggage.

This is definitely my year

Well, at 54 years old I can honestly say this is definitely my year. Still losing weight so far 7 kilos around 15 lbs for the old school. 7 down and 43 to go.  The new school I started keeps me very active and the campus has lots of steps.  I cant believe a full term has gone by and its school holidays. I was going to do so much these two weeks and seamed to have spent most of the time babysitting again I must stop doing that as it is my year, but I do love my grandkids so much will add a few nana brag photos.

This new way of thinking and concentrating on myself takes a bit of getting use to, not sure how hubby is taking it yet but he likes to do his own thing so I guess it will work ok, he did his own thing for 43 years before I met him so I,m sure he can survive.
Been evaluating my life again its been a strange one, I always considered myself as an" in between " becoming a mother at 16 I never fitted in with others my age they were still out partying while I was washing nappies, and the mothers groups always seamed to old for me I was not one at 16 to discus with the 25 - 35 age group which was the best washing powder to use and I was never included in their inner circles I think they considered me still a child even though I had a couple of kids, Up until this day I dont have many friends my age.

One thing I know for sure even at such a young age I was a good mum loved my kids to bits, did not have much money back when but we had lots of time together, I know find myself teaching the same things to my grandkids still love it.
Enough of the family, back on track,  I told you in the beginning I would keep diverting back. Well, the excess baggage I am obviously still struggling with is the lack of having a close friend you know the kind the one you can ring any time day or night the one you turn to when you have a question yes I know I have a husband they don't count they are your family.  I was thinking about this recently how I lost contact with my old school friends because of my first marriage and they way my ex controlled us but we wont go there today.  I actually contacted some of them recently and will go to next years reunion.  I spent 21 years in the organisation (who shall remain nameless) yes it was a church group, another long story might tell it one day. Needles to say the so called friends I had while I was still attending the organisation are no longer my friends as I don't attend now, strange that huh? That baggage has been sent to the lost section so its all good.  Now anyone who is reading this, whats your thoughts on the true friend stuff? do you all have one? Or is it just something we see in the movies and really you are all just as alone as me, even though I have a large loving family around me and a few social groups I see regularly.
Talk again soon Christina.

Home from holidays

Bali Fun

I really did have all intentions of blogging while on holidays however the days just seamed to slip by so quickly. We had a lovely time and it was good to catch up with old friends. Unfortunately I did put on a couple of kilos, so its straight back  to healthy eating, I did try to eat healthy on holidays but I think all those cocktails and glasses of wine had a big part in it.  This time while sat at the airport I made the decision to not eat any refined sugar and made hubby buy me a giving up eating sugar present like he did when I gave up smoking. It worked for that so I figured it will work again. I believe when we are well rested after a holiday our minds are much more clear and ready to move on and I had the same sense of "I can change my life" I can do this and I am just going with it, so here goes will let you know.

  Another week of changing my life my second blog and this week I  have been reflecting on how things are going. 6 kilos lighter is great I hope I keep it off next week with a week of long service leave and a quick trip to Indonesia we will see.
Four weeks in the new job and I am loving it. I think moving jobs though a bit scary at my age was the best thing I did last year. If you are embarking on a new life you have to change every thing, whats that old saying
  If you keep doing what you have always done you will keep getting what you have always got.
I love the new school I,m working in it was definitely the right move. Feeling quiet positive at the moment about life in general I,m sure bad days will come during my journey. I have been talking about doing all this for so long I cant believe I am finally doing it. Its like the time is right .  As with everything it's no good everyone telling you, you should do this and you should do that until your ready and make the decision in your head or you just never get far from the starting block so don't even bother trying. I gave up smoking for the second time using this principle and it has now been two months, I started smoking at the age of 13 and gave it up at the age of 22 stopped for over 20years before  starting again at the age of 43 when my first marriage of 26 years fell apart and gave it up for the last time two months ago at the age of 54, best thing I have done so far in changing my life. dont get me wrong I feel like a nice smoke right now but I have decided never to smoke again If you can jest get it right in your head make the descision the rest comes easily I am now using the same principle to loose at least 40 kilos maybe even 50 but I would be happy with just the 40 at my age I have tried every weight loss programme out there just like others and guess what? they don't work, oh they do for a short while however as you know it all comes back and more. This time I have already lost the weight in my head and I am thin now I am just blogging my journey so you can all witness the physical. Now I must add to achieve this as I said in my first blog there is a lot of baggage to be lost along the way. My next blog I will share some of the suite cases I have lost in the last few weeks I might even blog while on holidays so remember you can also do it

start

                                                                   The start.

I guess in my first blog I should acknowledge a few people that helped me get this far and inspired me to get started and bring me to the point of being able to once again expose myself and deal with issues and move on to the next stage of my life. Firstly my husband Steve, the second Steve that is. (First husband was named Steve as well, long story tell you about it sometime).  My darling hubby of 9 and half years, who over the last nine years has helped me to grow up and become what I am on the way to becoming today.  My oldest daughter Mandy who from the day she was born has given my life a purpose and who with only a 16 year age gap is one of my best friends. My three sons Mike, John and Matt who I adore and am so very proud of and over the years have made me act like a grown up even when I did not want to, and last but not least my youngest daughter Rebecca who reminds me so much of myself except she is doing all the things I always wanted to do when I was her age.
For the most part of the last 37 years my family has been my whole life, and finally at 54 I can start to look at me as the whole of my life.
I guess becoming a mother at 16 did not give me enough time to grow up before I had to just get on with the job on hand, I don't know how or why but I can honestly say I loved every min of being a young mother and staying at home with all those dirty nappies and cooking meals yes I really mean it, I was an odd ball back then. If I could impart one thing to young mothers of today on how to be happy or how to enjoyed it would be accept it, don't fight it, then you will see all those little unique insights of the little person you are looking after and watch their very souls grow and those thought patterns emerge creating their characters and life. Having 5 school age children in the morning is also good for our own character, have you ever tried making lunches at the same time as looking for lost reading books and lost school ties, trying to find 50cents for the excursion they forgot to mention.  Great character building exercise for the whole family. Anyway back on track I am probably going to divert to family issues all the time as I share thoughts with you. Having never blogged before I even now have doubts if this is really what your supposed to do (One suite case that is about to get lost) I guess blogging you can do what the heck you like no one has to read it that does not want to.
So my plan is as I continually supply the lost baggage department with stock I share the evidence with you, (writing was something I always wanted to do when I grew up) and at the same time loose this excess physical baggage I have carried around in all shapes and colours over the last 29 years.
It's the weekend so have not lost any weight I started on the 21/2/2012 and have lost 5 1/2 kilos so far hoping to make it 6 1/2 by the end of this week. Talk again soon.

Most of my family.